From a Place of Gratitude
That is how I like to experience the world. Okay. First step: define gratitude.
the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. "she expressed her gratitude to the committee for their support"
There’s this kind of circle that happens when looking up definitions that really just brings you to more words. These words do as best they can to describe a feeling, but if you haven’t experienced it, I imagine wouldn’t really make for a clear definition at all. Just to be sure we are at least on the same page, thesaurus time.
You get the feeling?
Okay, if I haven’t driven you crazy with my obsessiveness yet, let’s get to it.
I have learned that I like to function in a space of gratitude for the positive things that surround and work their way into my life. Whether it is amazing sex, an intense love connection, a kind word, or a pleasant interaction. I have even been able to find a space of gratitude for the not-so-pleasant moments that may challenge or irritate me. More often than not there are things that I learn from those experiences.
Many intense and unpleasant conversations have come to be moments of revelation for me. These moments are a space in which I learn something essential about myself or just get to a place where I can admit what I really want for my life, no matter how I may feel about what the important people in my life might think about it. I am grateful for those.
Now, what does this practice of gratitude look like? What does it look like for me and for those people and moments for which I feel it? I know how I feel, and as much joy and warmth my state of gratitude may bring me, it stays right there only with me.
Now the practice of gratitude, that’s a whole separate thing. I’m not a fan of spelling things out for people when I feel like they’re obvious. I realize that what seems obvious to me is rooted in what I know and feel and not necessarily in anyone else’s experience. In the case of a partner or lover, how will I let them know what it is that I am grateful for? Do I need to tell you I like the way you touch me? Do I need to announce that I’m happy to see you, or that I enjoy your company? I am learning more and more that I need to be aware that some people don’t always see my gratitude no matter how deeply I feel it, if I don’t express it in a way they can recognize. That puts me in a place where I need to ask myself a few questions…
What are you most grateful for?
My time and freedom, and connections
Is being grateful as simple as “counting our blessings”?
It’s so much more than that. I guess the hard part has been articulating the feeling of warmth and delight that comes with that feeling of gratitude.
What happens when we don’t stop to be grateful?
When I don’t find myself being grateful, I most definitely take things for granted. When I don’t communicate my gratitude, I've learned that people can feel taken for granted even when that’s not my intention.
What does gratitude lead to? More awareness? A deeper truth?
It leads you to your path, whatever that path is. The things that light you up inside, that make your tide rise high, your passions overflow, the things that make you feel alive inside all become increasingly clear to you. The parts of your life that you are not happy with and need to change become just as clear. Gratitude leads you to your deepest truths. Once you see them you then have to ask yourself an important question: “How long will you wait before you live them?”
David Anthony Geary…
You are poly, and it is not your primary need in a relationship to have a partner-based center to ground you as you float about the world loving. Just be free and honest about your desire to be wherever you want with your emotions, connections, and desire. They may last for days or decades, and however that may play out, you are okay with it. Be grateful for the experience of that love as a part of this journey we’re calling life.
Along the way do your best to…
Love them as they are, have amazing sex, and communicate with intention.