I Have Not Forgotten About You

It has been three months since my last post here in the world of Love, Sex and Communication. There has been a lot of life happening and I have been taking notes along the way! We have a lot of catching up to do, so I hope those of you who have been following (and my new LSC friends) will forgive my absence. If not, I understand and am grateful for the time and energy you’ve given me in the past.

This is the beginning of the second quarter of year two of a larger five-year plan for me. It's one of those plans that's part rigid and part loosey-goosey...like me! A little bit of a structuring and re-identifying myself and my life.

My visual work has taken the front seat for a while but I'm working at a way to make room for all that I do. Of course, like the crazy man I am, I picked up a new thing along the way and am learning the guitar (as if I needed one more challenge, right?!?). I guess while I'm in this cocoon of mine, trying to become a butterfly, I'm gonna squeeze in all I need to be able to express the whole of David Anthony Geary: In his entirety. This is bound to lead to some interesting combinations of words, sounds and images.

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Anyway, I won't delve into anything too deep or specific in this post.  I just really wanted to let you all know that I'm still here. For those of you who know me personally, you may have been witness to all of this overflowing chalice I call my life.

With that said, I continue to encourage you to,

Love me as I am: Even when it seems I am M.I.A.

David

Whiskey And Resolutions

The new year is approaching and I am sure many of you have already started planning your resolutions. What will it be for 2016?

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Drink more ...(some of y'all need to loosen up) Whiskey and Ginger Beer just try it!!!

Drink less ...(hey man slow your row! Last year was a little wild!)

Have more sex ...(well I'm just saying it's important.)

Have less sex ...(put your pants back on and get some damn work done!)

Find a mate ...(You don't have to do this whole damn thing by yourself!)

Rekindle a dwindling fire ...(yeah baby... Let's get warm)

Communicate better ...(tell them how you really feel about it.)

Seriously, I'm sure I could go on but instead, just let your imagination flow.

New Year's Resolutions. It's a tradition of sorts. I'm not sure where it started nor will I be spending any energy to look that up. For better or worse a lot of us start our year with great intentions. Most of us don't get past February before we start slipping back into the way we have always operated. Default settings are comfortable for a reason. We are already used to them. Change is hard and even harder to maintain. If you slip, recommit. You don't have to wait until next January! Do it in March when it has a better chance of becoming your new default setting.

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In case you were wondering, here are a few of my goals for 2016:

  • Get my ass back on track with this blog ( I'm sorry y'all - it has been over a month);
  • Get organized! (If you could see my studio my bedroom and my storage you would recommend or gladly host an intervention);
  • Make more steps toward rebuilding my relationship with my children. (I can only try but I need to try harder and with more consistency);
  • Spend less time on social media (Omg! What a damn addictive time vacuum);
  • Get an intern. (Seriously. There's too much on my plate and too many hats on my head).

Tyra, (my amazing editor and collaborator, in case you forgot)...Do you have any thoughts on resolutions for ME in 2016?

Why, yes David Anthony, I do!

  • Commit to 30 days of abstinence and document the process to share with others. (It will be tough at first, but trust me, L'il David is getting worn out and actually wants you to get some other work done too.);
  • Follow through with your ideas on taking your art to the next level! (You are larger than life! Surely, you must know that you are also bigger than Chicago too!);
  • Be intentional about listening to and hearing others. (People love you and care about you. You have to nurture that in a purposeful way.)
Up for the challenges!!!

Up for the challenges!!!

Well there you have it. If you cannot commit to do anything else, please resolve to.....

Love them as they are, have amazing sex and communicate with intention.

David

Author: David Anthony Geary

Contributing Writer/Editor: Tyra L. Nelson

Images: David Anthony Geary

She’s Just Not That Into You (The Short and Sweet Chronicles)

Yeah, I co-opted part of the title for this one 'cause it's just right for what has been on my mind. Let me know if y'all can relate.

A few days ago, I was having a great talk with one of my closest friends. She turned to me and said, "David, there are only a few women in this world who can handle a relationship with you. And, of them, very few will last any considerable length of time. So prepare yourself for some wonderfully, beautiful and intense--but short-- lived experiences."

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Now, that was some hard shit to hear! But it has been in the back of my head ever since. Is that really what I need to prepare myself for in my life? Do I want that to be my reality for the next 40 years? (I give myself a good 80 and then, I'm out!)

I say no! Actually, hell no! I'll take the intensity all day long but nothing about my personality says short or brief. Even when the romantic part fades, long-term friendships usually remain. That's what I'm used to. So, fast forward to the situation that gave me the inspiration to write this...

I met someone.  I was at a gallery opening and she was with a friend who happened to know one of the people sitting at the table with me. Even as she was walking over to our table, I noticed her and was a little giddy when she stopped in front of us. One thing about me is that I notice (and am incredibly attracted) to certain feminine features that most men don't recognize or acknowledge.  I don't know if that's a David Anthony thing or an artist thing. Either way, she had these traits! (Teaser: I'll write about these traits in an upcoming post!) Simply put, she was GORGEOUS!

Anyway, introductions proceeded. After several exchanges, it was our turn. I swear, I forgot my name and suddenly developed a stutter. She would later tell me that she totally missed that but in my head, I became a grown-up incarnation of Mushmouth from Fat Albert! I pulled it together somehow and didn't let her leave without making sure that it was clear to her that I was interested.  She left and I proceeded with the rest of my evening, only to run into her again at my next destination. Call me crazy but I figured the Universe may have been playing a hand in this one. Not that I don't believe in coincidences. (Trust me, some shit just happens. it ain't always meant to be.)

So, here we are--chatting it up: Directly and intensely engaged with one another, even though we were surrounded by potential distractions. We both expressed how enjoyable this exchange was. We parted ways but not without first properly exchanging contact information. We were texting one another even before I could make it to my car. Obviously, the vibe between us was real.

Our evening was soon followed by daily conversations. You know, the on the phone for hours and neither one of you wants to hang up type stuff? (Seriously I'm 40! That shit ain't supposed to happen anymore!) I have to admit, I was having a ball just getting to know this girl!

So, it's time for our first date and we meet up at the art center where I have some work on display. I give her a little peek into my world. We have coffee and conversation for a solid hour,  followed by a walk through the neighborhood. A visit to my work-space, more conversation,  a trip to the record store and even more conversation. By the end of the eveningwe were both saying out loud that this experience was wonderful! We never wanted our time together to end!

It wasn't until several lunches and a subsequent date later (which were all as awesome as the first) that I realized I had become the one doing most of the reaching out. The time between our conversations grew longer. Then, it hit me: I was chasing this girl! Now, people who know anything about me would say that this is so out of character. Yet, it was happening. I was lost for words and didn't know quite what to do with these new emotions: Was I being a bugaboo? Getting played? Worst, was it possible that I was diggin' this girl like an old school record while she was playing me like a top 40's hit song?

I gave it a few days, just to see if I might get a call or a message. NADA!!! I can't lie, your boy was shaken. After some real, open-hearted talks with my braintrust, (you know, those friends who know how to get you grounded and who give the best, most level-headed advice), I decided I would just state my case to her and lay my cards face-up on the table!

So I called her, 'cause I just can't text what I want to say.  No answer.  I wish I had a transcript of what I said on her voicemail, but it went something like, "Hey, it's David. I haven't heard from you in a bit and I'm not sure what's up. So I'm gonna say it plain and simple: I like you! I enjoy the time we spend together and I'd like to do more of that."  That was it. Open. Honest. No room for misinterpretation. I eagerly awaited my return call.

Well, it never came. No response whatsoever! Ok...Hint taken.

I guess I should be glad that she didn't answer or call back. I'm not sure how I would have taken a direct rejection. I mean , I’m sure I would have been quiet and respectful but internally? It's just not what I needed at the time! Or maybe it was exactly what I needed.

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Here’s the thing: I am attempting to live my truth as honorably as I can. So maybe my friend's words about embracing the short and brief moments of intensity are more crucial than I realized. This situation (which still has me baffled) is a prime example of that. I was truthful with her from the start, so I thought she understood that a relationship (traditional or not) was not something I was open to or ready for. Maybe she thought she could live with that, then decided she could not. In reality, she may have never even heard the message, I have absolutely no idea.

Either way, I have to respect the choice she made to not return my call, even though I don't like it. I mean, no one voluntarily signs up for rejection, right? And maybe that's part of the point. When many women hear my truth (me not being open or ready for a committed relationship) and begin to see how it might affect their lives, most of them will tap out. Maybe they figure, why even set myself up for rejection? Why sign up for something now that is bound to be a disappointment later? I totally get it!

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 So, maybe she just wasn't that into me. Or maybe she was but it fizzled much faster than what I am used to. Whatever the case, the truth in this situation is I have to pick up my face and keep it moving. And I have. Well, mostly. I mean, it is a humbling experience when you realize that you won't always agree with or get to choose when the intensity ends. So, here is where I get to follow my own advice: 

Love them as they are, have amazing sex and communicate with intention.

David

 

Author: David Anthony Geary

Contributing Writer/Editor: Tyra L. Nelson

Images: David Anthony Geary